You write your dating profile bio, and your cursor sits over the line about your daughter. You wonder whether to leave it in, take it out, or wait until later to say it.
You will tell them. What you decide is when, and what details to share before you trust them.
The short answer
State that you are a parent on your dating profile. Keep the details private: say you have kids, not their names, ages, schools, or photos. You filter out people who do not want to date someone with kids, and you match with people who understand your situation from the start.
Once you trust a match, you can share more.
Three places to say it, and the trade-offs
You can tell a match you have kids in three places: your profile, your first messages, or your first date. Each has a trade-off.
| Where you say it | Trade-off | |------------------|-----------| | On your profile | You filter out people who do not want to date a parent before you match. You waste less time. Some people who would have been open to it may swipe left without learning more about you. | | In your first messages | You match with more people, and some who would have swiped left on your profile stay once they know you. You still say it before you meet, so you waste little time. You risk seeming like you hid it. | | On your first date | You get a chance to connect in person before parent status comes up. If they do not want to date a parent, you wasted time on the date and on the messages leading up to it. Waiting this long can feel like hiding something important. |
Most single parents put it on their profile. You save time for both of you, and you match with people who are open to dating a parent from the start.
If you choose not to put it on your profile, say it in the first few messages before you meet.
What to share and what to keep private
You are a parent. That matters to a match. The details about your kids do not matter yet.
Share this early:
- You have kids
- You co-parent or have a custody arrangement
Keep this private until you trust them:
- Names, ages, and photos of your kids
- What school they attend or what neighborhood you live in
- Custody schedule specifics
- Details about your ex or the breakup
You can share more once the relationship has progressed and you trust the person. Early on, protect your kids' privacy.
Kid photos on a dating profile
Do not post photos of your kids on a dating app. You do not know who will see your profile, save the photos, or use them. Dating apps reach strangers, and some of those strangers have bad intent.
State that you are a parent without showing their faces. Keep photos of your kids off dating apps, social media linked to your profile, and any platform where strangers can access them. For more on staying safe while dating, see our guide on online dating safety.
Sample wording
Three ways to state parent status on a profile. These are examples, not quotes:
Short and direct: Single parent to two. Family comes first, and I make time for someone who fits that life.
With a note on your schedule: I co-parent two kids and have them half the week. Free nights work best for dates, and I plan ahead.
With a note on what you want: Parent of one. I want someone who understands that my kid shapes my schedule and my priorities.
Each line states the fact without oversharing. You can adjust the wording to fit your voice.
If a match goes quiet after you say it
Some people do not want to date someone with kids, and they will unmatch or stop responding once you say it. That stings, but it saves you time.
You want matches who are open to your life as it is, not matches who need you to hide part of it. The ones who stay are the ones worth your time.
Dating someone who has kids when you don't
If you do not have kids and you are dating someone who does, ask questions early. What does their schedule look like? How involved is their co-parent? Where do they see the relationship going if you keep dating?
You need to know whether you can fit into their life before you invest months. For more on dating as a single parent, see our guide on dating as a single parent.
Next step: introducing them, months later
Telling a match you have kids happens in the first days. Introducing your kids to a partner happens months later, if the relationship lasts.
Do not rush the introduction. Your kids need stability, and a new partner needs time to earn their place in your life. For guidance on when and how to introduce kids to a partner, see our guide on when to introduce kids to a new partner.
Dating as a single parent
The Transfer Portal dating app is built for single parents who want to date with intention. You state parent status up front so you can see whether a match has kids before you connect. Readiness questions show you where someone stands before you meet.
Download on the App Store or Google Play. Free. US only, 18+.
For more on navigating dating with a custody schedule, see our guide on how to date around a custody schedule.
If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (US).