A ten minute talk, three emails, a one pager and a QR poster. Optional, written to sit after the last session and never before it.
The Transfer Portal: Louisville facilitator kit
The week 12 talk
Week 12 or the last session, after the closing exercise. About ten minutes.
Ground rules
No show of hands. Nobody in the room has to say whether they are dating, thinking about it, or never want to.
Cards go on the table by the door. People take one on the way out or they do not.
Say the word optional at least twice. Some people in the room are still in the worst of it.
Do not describe the readiness check-in as a test. It never locks anyone out.
1Open1 min
Before we finish, one practical thing. Nothing you have to act on today, or ever.
Some of you will start thinking about meeting someone new at some point. Some of you will not, and that is a complete answer. Either way, I want you to know about one option, because most people find out about the bad ones first.
2What it is3 min
There is a community called The Transfer Portal, built only for divorced and separated adults. Not a general dating app. Nobody on it is 24 and never married.
Two things make it different. Every profile is verified twice: a photo pose check, then a person on their team looks at it. And there is a short readiness check-in, twelve questions, that pairs you with people at a similar stage. It never keeps anyone out. It just shapes who you see first.
If you are nowhere near dating, there are free support circles and a mode called Soft Start that slows everything down to one check-in a day. Some people use it for months and never date on it. That is allowed.
3What it is not2 min
It is not counseling, and it is not a replacement for a group like this one. It makes no clinical claims and I am not making any for it.
It is not affiliated with DivorceCare. I am mentioning it because I looked at it and thought it was worth knowing about. That is the whole endorsement.
It is not a numbers game. Louisville is the first city they are filling on purpose, fifty verified people, before they open the next one. Small on purpose.
4How to look, if you want to2 min
There are cards on the table by the door with a QR code. It opens a Louisville page on their site. You can read the whole thing without downloading anything or giving anyone your email.
If you are not ready, do not take a card. If you are not sure, take one and put it in a drawer. It will still be true in six months.
5Close2 min
The reason I say this in week 12 and not week 3 is that the first eleven weeks were about you, not about anyone new. That order matters. Keep it.
Whatever you decide, you did the hard part already. You showed up here every week. Thank you for that.
Three emails
Each one links to the Louisville page with the facilitator tag, so we can see the kit is working without knowing who sent it. Replace the bracketed parts.
Your group, after the last session
Send within a day or two of the final session. Not before.
Subject:One optional thing from our last session
Hi everyone,
Thank you for the last twelve weeks. Showing up every week is the hard part and you did it.
One follow up from what I mentioned at the end. The Transfer Portal is a private community for divorced and separated adults. Profiles are verified by a person, and a short readiness check-in pairs people at a similar stage without ever locking anyone out. There are free support circles and a slow mode for anyone who is not thinking about dating yet.
Louisville is the first city they are filling, fifty verified members, so the local pool is real. You can read the whole thing here without downloading anything:
https://thetransferportalapp.com/metros/louisville?utm_source=divorcecare&utm_medium=facilitator_kit&utm_campaign=louisville
This is optional. It is not affiliated with DivorceCare and it is not counseling. If it is not for you, ignore this email entirely.
Take care of yourselves,
[Your name]
A family law attorney or their office
Any time. Attorneys see people at the end of the process, which is when this is useful.
Subject:A resource for clients after the decree
Hi [Name],
I facilitate a divorce support group in Louisville and wanted to pass along something a few clients have asked me about after their cases close.
The Transfer Portal is a private community built only for divorced and separated adults. Every profile is pose verified and reviewed by a person. A twelve question readiness check-in pairs people at a similar stage and never locks anyone out. For clients who are nowhere near dating, there are free support circles and a slow mode.
Louisville is the first city they are filling to fifty verified members, so the local pool works. The city page is here if you want a one pager for the waiting room:
https://thetransferportalapp.com/metros/louisville?utm_source=divorcecare&utm_medium=facilitator_kit&utm_campaign=louisville
No affiliation on my end and nothing to sign. I just find it useful to have something to hand people that is not a general dating app.
Best,
[Your name]
[Group and location]
A therapist or counselor you refer to
When a client is past the acute stage and starting to ask about what comes next.
Subject:For clients asking what comes next
Hi [Name],
Quick one. Clients who finish our group sometimes ask about meeting people again, and I have not had a good answer that was not a general dating app.
The Transfer Portal is a private community for divorced and separated adults only. Profiles are pose verified and reviewed by a human moderator. A twelve question readiness check-in pairs people at a similar stage and never gates anyone out. It makes no clinical claims and it is not a substitute for your work. What it does have is free support circles and a Soft Start mode for people who are not dating yet, which is most of them at first.
Louisville is the first city they are filling on purpose, fifty verified members. Details here:
https://thetransferportalapp.com/metros/louisville?utm_source=divorcecare&utm_medium=facilitator_kit&utm_campaign=louisville
Sharing in case it is useful for the right client at the right time. Not affiliated, nothing to sign.
Warmly,
[Your name]
Printables
The QR code opens the Louisville page with the facilitator tag. Print on letter paper; the poster is its own page.
The Transfer Portal
Dating after divorce in Louisville, when you are ready
A private community for divorced and separated adults
Every profile pose verified, then reviewed by a person
A twelve question readiness check-in that pairs you with people at a similar stage and never locks you out
Free support circles and Soft Start Mode if you are not dating yet
Louisville is the first city being filled to 50 verified members, so the people you see are actually nearby
thetransferportalapp.com/metros/louisville
Optional. Not affiliated with DivorceCare. No email required to read the page. Questions: chase@thetransferportalapp.com
Louisville, Kentucky
When you are ready.
Dating after divorce in Louisville. A private, verified community. Read first, decide later.
thetransferportalapp.com/metros/louisville
Scan to open the Louisville page. Optional. Not affiliated with DivorceCare.
QR target: https://thetransferportalapp.com/metros/louisville?utm_source=divorcecare&utm_medium=facilitator_kit&utm_campaign=louisville
When not to share
The order matters more than the words. If any of these is in doubt, do not mention it this week.
Only week 12, or the last session
The first eleven weeks are about the person, not about anyone new. Mentioning a community for meeting people earlier than that undercuts the work the group is doing.
Never in the weeks that cover Deep Hurt, Anger, Grief or Loneliness
Those sessions are the rawest in the curriculum. Nobody should hear about dating, even framed as optional, while they are in the middle of one of them. If your group runs on a different order, skip any week with one of those four topics.
No show of hands, ever
Do not ask who is dating, who is thinking about it, or who has tried an app. The people who would say no in front of the room are the ones the question hurts.
Cards by the door, not handed out
Put the printed cards on a table near the exit. People take one or they do not, and nobody watches either way.
Not during a share
If someone is speaking about their own situation, the talk waits. It belongs after the closing exercise, when the session is formally done.
Not to someone in crisis
If a participant is in crisis, this is not the resource. Point them to your usual crisis contacts. The app is a community, not a safety service, and it does not monitor anyone.
Say it is optional, and mean it
A good sign the talk landed well: half the cards are still on the table afterward. That is people making their own call, which is the point.
DivorceCare is independent; this kit is optional, not official.
DivorceCare is independent; this kit is optional, not official.