Your first holidays after a breakup or divorce hurt because the routine goes missing before you've had time to replace it. Plan the hard days now: who you'll see and what you'll do with the empty hours. Thanksgiving falls on November 26, 2026, so you have about five weeks.
This guide covers breakups, separations and divorce, with or without kids.
The short answer
Write a plan for each holiday on your calendar. Put one person or event on each day, give yourself an exit time for gatherings with your ex's family or mutual friends, and pick a one-line answer for "So where's Sam this year?" Hold off on bringing anyone new to family events.
Plenty of other people dread this season too. In the American Psychiatric Association's Healthy Minds Poll of 2,203 US adults (November 2025), 48% said they worried about missing someone or grief during the holidays, and 31% worried about being lonely.
Why the first year hits hard
You built your holidays with your ex. One of you cooked and one of you drove. You never wrote those rules down, so you notice each one when it disappears.
The first year also stacks up firsts: the first card with one name, the first Thanksgiving table with a different seat count. Expect the second year to feel easier, since you will have done each of these once.
Some days you'll feel sad, and some days you'll feel relief. Both count as normal. If you ended things, the guilt can show up on the same afternoon as the relief.
Build a plan for each day
Open your calendar and list each date that matters to you, from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day. Add birthdays and anniversaries that land in the same stretch. For each one, write down:
- Your location and company. Ask a sibling or a neighbor now, while October calendars are still open.
- Your exit. Drive your own car to gatherings, and pick a time you plan to leave.
- One new thing. Take a morning walk or try a new recipe. Keep it small.
- Your basics. Protect your sleep and meals, and decide your drink limit before the party.
If a day still looks empty, volunteer. Food banks and shelters in Louisville, Indianapolis and Cincinnati post holiday shifts in November, so check yours.
Answer family questions before they ask
Relatives will ask. Write one line and repeat it:
- "We split up this year, and I'm doing okay. How's your new job?"
- "We're both doing what's best for the kids. I'd rather talk about something else today."
Change the subject on purpose. Give your aunt the news and keep the story to yourself.
If you're still close with your ex's family, decide with your ex who goes where this year. Send that text in early November so nobody is surprised at the door.
If your kids spend the holiday with your ex
An empty house on Christmas morning can hurt worse than the fights did. Plan those hours like any other day.
Agree on the schedule in writing by early November. Your kids should know where they'll be and when they'll switch. Keep the handoff short and calm, and save disagreements for another day. Let your kids enjoy the other home. Say "Have fun at Dad's, I'll see you Saturday" and you take a weight off them.
Then book your own day. Set a call time with your kids if you agreed on one, and celebrate with them on a different date if that works. Our guide on dating around a custody schedule covers how to use kid-free days, and the co-parenting and dating guide covers working with your ex on plans.
Dating over the holidays
You may reach for a fast relationship when the house is quiet in December. Before you swipe, ask yourself two questions:
- Do I want to meet someone, or do I want a date for the office party?
- Would I still want this in February?
If you answer "date for the party" or "no," wait until January. If you feel steady and curious, a low-key first date can work. Keep it short, and skip the speech about your ex. Our how long to wait to date after a breakup guide gives ranges by relationship length, and the rebound relationship signs guide helps you check your motives. If someone is pushing you to pair up before winter, read cuffing season: are you ready, or just cold? first.
On The Transfer Portal dating app, Soft Start gives you 5 swipes a day, plus daily mood check-ins and reflection prompts, so you can meet people at a pace that fits a hard month.
Bringing someone new to a family event
Hold off until after the season. One afternoon would introduce your new partner to your relatives and your kids at the same table where your ex used to sit. Meet for a quieter date around the holiday instead. If you have kids, use the same timeline you'd use for any introduction. Our guide on when to introduce kids to a new partner covers the signs.
Let yourself feel it
You don't have to perform cheer you don't feel. Give the sadness a set place: write down what you miss for ten minutes, then go do the next thing on your plan. Our breakup journal prompts give you a place to start, and how to heal before dating again offers a week-by-week plan.
If you need people who have been there, a support group can fill a December evening. See how to find a divorce support group.
When to get help
Talk with a doctor or licensed therapist if your low mood lasts most days for two weeks or more, if you can't sleep or work, or if you're drinking more to get through the season. If you feel hopeless or think about ending your life, call or text 988 (US) now.
Not sure whether you're ready to date yet? Take our free readiness check.
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