You sit alone at night with a notebook, the kind of night when your ex posted something. The urge to text feels strong, so you write instead. You fill a page, then another, and the grip loosens.
This guide gives you prompts sorted by where you are: what you feel now, what happened, who you are without them, and what you want next. Pick one prompt, set a timer for ten minutes, and write without stopping.
The short answer
Write for ten minutes, a few times a week, with one prompt at a time. Start with prompts for what you feel right now if the breakup is fresh. Move to prompts about what happened once the shock fades. Then write about who you are on your own and what you want before you date again. All the prompts appear below, grouped by stage.
How to use these prompts
- Set a timer for ten minutes. Write until the timer rings, then stop. You don't need to finish a thought.
- Keep it private. Write in a notebook or a password-protected file. Nobody grades this.
- Don't reread in the first week. Write to get the thoughts out, not to analyze them. You can read back later once the rawness settles.
- Skip any prompt that hurts too much. You can return to it in a month if you want. Forcing it helps nobody.
Prompts for the first few weeks
Use these when the breakup is fresh and everything feels too close.
- Right now, I feel…
- The hardest part of today was…
- I keep replaying the moment when…
- One thing I wish I could say to them is…
- I'm afraid that…
- I miss…
- I'm relieved that…
- Tonight I need to…
- The last time I felt okay was…
- Tomorrow I will try to…
Prompts for making sense of what happened
Use these once the shock fades and you can look at the relationship with some distance.
- The relationship ended because…
- Looking back, I saw signs when…
- I stayed longer than I should have because…
- One pattern I kept falling into was…
- They needed something from me that I couldn't give:…
- I needed something from them that they couldn't give:…
- The version of me in that relationship was…
- One thing I learned about what I don't want is…
- If I could go back, I would tell myself…
- The relationship taught me that I…
Prompts for who you are now
Use these to rebuild your sense of yourself outside the relationship.
- Without them, I am…
- The parts of me that got lost during the relationship are…
- I'm proud that I…
- One thing I want to reclaim about myself is…
- On my own, I've discovered that I…
- My closest friend would describe me as…
- A day that feels like mine looks like…
- I'm excited to…
- Something I stopped doing during the relationship that I want to start again:…
- The person I'm becoming is…
Prompts for before you date again
Use these once you've processed the ending and you're thinking about what comes next. These connect to the themes in the readiness check: your emotional state, your support, and your clarity on what you want.
Your emotional state
- When I think about dating again, I feel…
- I'll know I'm ready to meet someone when…
- I still need to work on…
Your support
- The people I can talk to honestly about this are…
- One thing I need from my friends right now is…
- If I feel stuck, I will reach out to…
Your clarity
- I want my next relationship to feel like…
- One thing I won't compromise on next time is…
- The kind of person I want to meet is someone who…
When you finish this set, take the free 12-question readiness check to see where you stand.
If you were married or share kids
These prompts fit divorce and co-parenting.
- The hardest part of co-parenting right now is…
- I'm grieving the loss of…
- My kids are handling this by…
- One boundary I need to hold with my ex is…
- I'll know I'm ready to date when my life feels stable enough that…
- If someone asks about my divorce, I'll say…
See our guides on the 5 stages of divorce and co-parenting and dating for more on dating with kids.
Write in the app
The Transfer Portal dating app offers guided expressive writing: a short private prompt each day, with no one grading or replying. Soft Start mode gives you one check-in a day during hard weeks, so you're never expected to match or chat when you're not ready.
The writing stays private. You write for yourself, not for anyone else.
Download on the App Store or Get it on Google Play. Free. US only, 18+.
Download the printable
If you're in crisis, call or text 988 (US).