You started seeing someone this fall, and Christmas Day lands on Friday, December 25, 2026. You want a gift for a new relationship that fits where the two of you are: small and easy to accept.
This guide works for anyone dating someone new, whether you've never married, you're divorced or separated, you're widowed, or you're raising kids.
The short answer
Yes, get your new partner something, and keep it small. Pick something tied to a conversation you've had, and keep it under $25 until you've been exclusive for a month or more. After two or three dates, a card or a small treat is plenty. Past that point, you can give a little more. Bring up gifts a week or two ahead so neither of you shows up empty-handed.
Match the gift to how long you've been dating
- A few dates, under a month. Give a card or a holiday treat, or skip gifts this year. A wrapped present this early can feel like a lot to the other person.
- One to three months, not exclusive. Choose something small and edible, or something you'll use together, like a card game for a night in. Keep it under $25.
- Exclusive for a month or more. Give a gift with more thought behind it, like a book they mentioned or tickets for something in January.
How much to spend
Once you've been exclusive for a month or more, aim for about the price of one of your usual dates: if you two get tacos and a drink, that's your budget. If you're exclusive and you've been to a few nicer dinners, you can spend more.
Keep your two gifts close in price. If you hand over a $150 gift after three weeks, the other person may feel they owe you, or feel embarrassed by the $20 candle they picked out. Ask ahead with a text: "Are we doing gifts? I was thinking something small, around $25."
Should you give a gift if you're not exclusive?
You can still give something. Keep it small and leave the label out of it. Write a card that says "I've liked getting to know you this fall," and leave the bigger questions for a conversation.
Skip gifts that make a statement you haven't said out loud, like a framed photo of the two of you or a key to your place. If you want to be exclusive, say so in person before the holidays. Our guide on situationship or relationship covers how to have that talk.
Gift ideas that show you listened
A gift tied to a real conversation beats anything off a gift list. Think back over your dates and texts:
- Something they mentioned once. Look for the snack from their hometown or a paperback of the novel they keep meaning to read.
- A plan for January. Book tickets to a show or a table at the place they wanted to try. You both get a date to look forward to after the holidays.
Add a short handwritten note with two or three sentences about a moment you enjoyed together.
Gifts to skip early on
- Jewelry and clothing, which feel personal fast and depend on sizes and taste you don't know yet
- Anything so expensive they'd feel they had to return it
- Jokes about exes or divorce
- Gifts that assume a shared future, like a trip next summer
If one of you is newly divorced or separated
The first Christmas after a split can mean grief and a new kid schedule. If the person you're dating is in that first year, keep the gift light and the exchange low-key. A big gesture can feel like pressure when they already have a lot to handle this month.
If you're the newly single one, you may want to go big to prove you've moved on. Hold back, and give the same small gift you'd give anyone you've dated for a month or two. Our guide to your first holidays after a breakup or divorce covers the rest of the season.
Keep your ex out of it. Skip comparisons with past gifts, and keep your new partner's present off social media for now.
If one of you has kids
Plan around their kid time
If the person you're dating has kids, they plan December around the parenting plan they share with their ex, including whose house the kids wake up in on Christmas morning. Ask which evenings work for them, and exchange gifts on one of their kid-free nights or on a date in mid-December. Our guide on dating around a custody schedule has more on planning dates around those days.
Gifts for their kids
Hold off until you've met the kids, and ask the parent first. If the kids open a present from someone they haven't met, they'll ask "Who is this from?" Their parent should answer that on their own timeline. Once you've met, keep each gift small and the same size for each child, and let the parent decide how to hand it over. Our guide on when to introduce kids to a new partner covers the timing.
If you're the parent
If your kids don't know about the person you're dating, keep the gift and the card away from home and exchange them on a kid-free night. Leave photos and cards off the fridge until your kids have met them.
If they give you something and you didn't
Say thank you and enjoy it. Skip the long apology. Bring a small gift or a card to your next date, or plan something for the two of you in January.
Make a plan for after the holidays
Put a date on the calendar for the week after New Year's Day, and you'll worry less about the gift itself. If you feel a pull to get serious before the new year, read cuffing season: are you ready, or just cold? first.
On The Transfer Portal dating app, you choose an intention before your first message, so a match knows what you want from the start. Soft Start gives you 5 swipes a day, plus mood check-ins and reflection prompts, and you can turn it off in Settings when you want more swipes. The app is free on iOS and Android, and every new member gets their first year of Premium free.
Download on the App Store or Get it on Google Play. Free. US only, 18+.