Dating after divorce in your 40s, 50s or 60s means a slower pace and higher standards than last time. Decide what you want now, since that may not be marriage, then start with short, low-stakes dates while your confidence catches up.
The short answer
You'll feel better about your life before you feel good at dating. In a 2026 Tawkify survey of 827 divorced US adults aged 40 to 69, 75% said they felt happier after their divorce, but 35% felt more confident dating. Sixty percent said they took more time with a promising match.
You're also not alone out there. A 2025 Pew Research Center analysis of Census data found about 32% of US adults ages 55 to 64 were unpartnered in 2023. The AARP Smart Guide to Dating After 50 cites the figure.
Check your readiness first
A judge sets the date your divorce is final. You decide when you want to date again. Before you set up a profile, ask yourself:
- Can I talk about my ex for two minutes without heat?
- Do I want to meet someone, or do I want to prove something to my ex?
If you answer no to the first or yes to the second, give it more time. Our how to know you're ready guide and the free readiness check walk you through it.
Decide what you want this time
Last time you may have wanted a spouse and kids. This time the list can look different. In the survey of 827 divorced adults, 43% of respondents wanted commitment without marriage and 15% wanted to marry. Among people who were 50 or older at their most recent divorce, the split was 41% and 12%.
Pick your answer before the first date:
- Remarriage. Say so on your profile, so you filter for people who want the same.
- A committed partner without a wedding. Some couples keep separate homes or separate finances. AARP quotes Pepper Schwartz, a University of Washington sociologist, who has lived 40 minutes from her husband across 21 years of marriage.
- Companionship or casual dating. This works as long as you say so up front.
Expect higher standards, and use them
In the survey, 93% of respondents raised their standards in at least one area after their divorce. Shared values and lifestyle fit topped the list at 73% each, with emotional availability at 72%. Poor communication was the most common dealbreaker at 63%.
Turn that into a short list. Write down three dealbreakers and the two things you want most. Then let the rest go. A match who doesn't golf can still fit your life. A match who lies about small things won't. Our guide to signs of emotional availability gives you checklists for spotting it on early dates.
Getting back out there
Apps
If you last dated before smartphones, apps will feel strange for a few weeks. Pick one or two. Match, eHarmony and Hinge draw people who want relationships, and SilverSingles targets people over 50. Our comparison of dating apps for serious relationships covers features and price.
On The Transfer Portal dating app, you say whether you have kids, and we use that answer when we pair you. Soft Start gives you 5 swipes a day, plus daily mood check-ins and reflection prompts, which suits a slower pace.
Use recent photos with no sunglasses, and write a profile that shows how you spend a Saturday. Our dating profile tips for starting over cover what to say about your divorce.
Offline
Tell your friends you're open to meeting someone. Join a class or a volunteer shift, and say yes to the neighbor's cookout. You'll meet people who share at least one interest with you.
The first date
Keep it to coffee or a walk, an hour or less. Talk about your life now. Mention the divorce in a sentence if it comes up, and save the full story for later. Our first date after divorce guide has scripts.
Kids, grown kids and exes
If your kids live at home part of the time, plan dates around your schedule and keep new partners away from them until the relationship feels steady. See when to introduce kids to a new partner.
Give your adult kids a heads-up. You don't need their permission. Tell them you're dating before they spot a photo on Facebook. Later, if things get serious, talk with your partner about holidays and grandkids. Our guide to your first holidays after a breakup or divorce covers the season itself.
Money and safety
In the survey, 50% of respondents feared being deceived about who someone was, and 14% worried about being scammed for money. Women were four times as likely as men to worry about safety when meeting someone new (29% vs. 7%). Women made up 76% of the sample, so treat the men's figure as a rough read.
Protect yourself with a few rules:
- Never send money or gift cards to someone you met online.
- Video chat before you meet, and meet in public the first few times.
- Keep your home address and finances private until you know the person.
Our online dating safety guide includes a romance scam script table and a five-minute profile check.
Dating after 60
You can date after 60, and gray divorce has grown common. Bowling Green State University's National Center for Family & Marriage Research reports that the divorce rate for adults 50 and older doubled from 1990 to 2010. Today nearly 40% of people who divorce are 50 or older, compared with 8% in 1990.
The Washington Post ran Boomer women are dating after divorce. Men don't always meet their standards. on October 27, 2026. The piece cites a 1992 study of Census data that called women then aged 30 to 44 "more likely to be divorced at some time in their lives than any group in American history." Those women are now in their 60s and 70s.
After a long marriage
If you married young, you may last have dated before cell phones. The same NCFMR profile found that the median first marriage ending in gray divorce in 2022 had lasted 29 years. Among people 50 and older who divorced in the past year, 2.9% had also remarried that year.
Give yourself a few weeks to learn the apps, and treat the first dates as practice.
Apps and scams after 60
Choose your app with scams in mind. In January 2026, AARP surveyed 300 online daters aged 50 and older, and 41% said they had met a fake profile or someone trying to scam them. In AARP's Match review, about 15% of surveyed Match users reported a fake profile or scam attempt, compared with 48% of Tinder users and 38% of Facebook Dating users.
A separate AARP survey of 1,008 adults in its Foresight 50+ panel, run by NORC at the University of Chicago in November 2025, found nearly 1 in 10 had an online romantic interest lead to a request for money or a pitch to invest in crypto. Adults 50 to 64 faced that at more than twice the rate of people 65 and older.
AARP gives these habits:
- Be wary of anyone who will only text or talk and won't meet you face to face.
- Never send money to anyone you haven't met in person.
- Go slow, and stay on the app if a match rushes you toward WhatsApp or Telegram.
On The Transfer Portal dating app, any member can verify with a pose selfie, and a person on our team reviews it before we add the badge. Verification is optional, so check for the badge. Soft Start gives you 5 swipes a day, plus daily mood check-ins and reflection prompts.
If your spouse died and you're thinking about dating again, read our guide to dating after losing a spouse.
Take it slow on purpose
A slower pace helps you spot problems in the first month. Give each person a few dates before you decide, and keep your friends and routines going while you date. Our slow dating guide shows how to date with intention without stalling.
If you're in crisis, call or text 988 (US).
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